I didn’t watch the superbowl, but living in the Bay Area means supporting the 49ers. Watching the live updates on social media, it was interesting to see people’s reactions to the game.

Our team was doing great, and was ahead for most of the game. But in the end – victory fell in the hands of the other team.

That’s when people’s true colors started to come out.

True & true fans thought it was a great game. They still were proud of their team for making it to the superbowl, and wore their colors with pride.

The other “fans” were upset, couldn’t believe it, and shared feelings of shame.

It’s amazing how a little struggle – a moment of something not going according to plan – that a person’s true colors can show.

"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game"

We’ve all heard this phrase, but as we get older it becomes more important. We care less about getting the trophy for being the best, and instead care more about the way it felt to participate.

When we were kids on our birthday, we tore open our presents often neglecting to read the card... and as adults, often times a handwritten card is more meaningful than a tangible gift.

As we get older, we find the result is less important than the process.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end."

Ernest Hemingway

During the journey, there WILL be bumps in the road. There WILL be moments of difficulty.

These moments, and how people handle them, will show you their true colors.

It reminds me of a conversation I shared with my old boss – a multimillion-dollar CEO who moved to America from a 3rd world country, and built himself up from ground zero.

He told me before he does business with anyone, he plays a round of golf with them. He said you can learn a LOT about how a person would be as a business partner, from the way they play golf.

I always assumed golf was something executives played just because they enjoyed a nice excuse for a “business meeting” that involves a game, a few drinks, and an opportunity to build rapport.

What I learned that day is it’s deeper than that. Golf is a game of honor, where players call penalties on themselves.

• Are they the type to nudge the ball to get a better shot?
• To play gray areas to their advantage?
• Do they value winning over sportsmanship?
• When their game isn’t going well, do they still have a good time or do they get upset and make excuses?

(I’m no golf expert, read more here for what you can learn about people from their golf game)

When people are trying to sell you their service, they will present the side of themselves they WANT you to perceive.

But when you observe their behavior in a different setting, watching their actions can tell you everything you need to know.

For example, you can learn a lot about a potential partner on a first date not by the things they say to you, but by the way they treat the server at the restaurant.

Pay attention to the patterns you see.

Moreso than their words, a person’s ACTIONS will always speak to their true colors.

People will always show you who they are. Don't make excuses or justify other people's actions to fit your own desired narrative.

And remember, this also applies to your own actions. Perception is reality. Your intent doesn't matter, all that matters is what is perceived.

Ask yourself: if someone was observing my actions, what would they think of me? Is this sending the message I want to send?

Remember that actions speak louder than words. If you really want to send a message to someone, let it be through your actions.